S3 Ep95 Bodhi Aldridge: The Holy Grail Within

Bodhi Aldridge teaches leaders how to strip back the armour and lead from what’s real. In this conversation, he lays out his core framework for true freedom—inner, outer, and relational—and why most high achievers can win on paper while still feeling trapped.

Aaron and Bodhi explore the search for the “holy grail” and the shift from chasing success outside ourselves to reconnecting with essence within. They unpack embodied presence, attention as a leader’s greatest asset, and the difference between resistance and flow in everyday life.

They also get practical. From sitting still for five minutes a day to reflective journaling, Bodhi explains why simple daily practice matters more than peak experiences. There’s an honest look at fatherhood, midlife pressure, and the quiet question many leaders ask in their forties: Is this it?

If you’re building a business, raising a family, and navigating transition without wanting to burn everything down to find meaning—this conversation offers a grounded place to start.

Reach out to Bohdi via LinkedIn or his website.

And here is the podcast he mentioned, True Freedom with Richard Stokes. 

Transcript

Opening And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Fortune Resilience. Real conversations for high performers facing transition. I'm Erin Hill. And join me as I talk with people about challenge change and the adversity they faced in life. So we can learn from their experiences, insights, and stories. Interestingly, this is the earliest podcast I've recorded for makes it this morning, and probably the calmest I've come in a long time. My nerves I always associate with just being alive and something that I get to experience, but I just want to point that out. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, beautiful. Today on Forging Resilience, I'm Joan joined by Bodie Oldridge. Bodie's a coach, a mentor, a father, and a grandfather, and also a former lawyer, someone who's lived inside high profession high pressure, professional worlds, and felt the cost of success when it's disconnected from truth. His work now sits the intersection of purpose, leadership, and authenticity, helping leaders strip back the armour, reconnect to who they really are, and lead from a place that's grounded, human, and sustainable. Bodhi, welcome to the show, mate. It's a pleasure to have you here.

Why Listen: The Promise Of True Freedom

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah, thank you, and uh thank you to the listeners.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

No worries, mate. Um my question to you, or stretch my my my opening bit for today would be um, yeah, straight off the bat, I'm not going to ask about your story. It would be what why should people stay and listen to this conversation today with us?

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Well, one of the key drivers, particularly for male leaders, yeah, and the masculine energy is freedom. Yeah, and my whole body of work is about what is true freedom. And I rarely meet people who experience true freedom. So there's the invitation. If that's what you're looking for. Men and women, but if that's what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

So I guess true freedom can mean so many different things to so many different people, but what does it mean to you today, Bodhi?

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Yeah, the way the way I teach it is there's inner freedom, there's outer freedom, and there's relationship freedom. And, you know, we'll have time to dive into that. Yeah. And essentially, you know, it is a it is a big conversation, yet if you really understand what inner freedom is, that connection to your essence, the truth of who you are, this is the holy grail, this is the search, the Parserfelt search. As men, as young men, we thought the Holy Grail was outside of us until we realized that the Holy Grail is the essence, the truth of who we are. Yeah. And then outer freedom and relational freedom, which again we can talk more about.

Bodhi’s Story And Early Milestones

SPEAKER_01 2:52

So for for for the listeners and and for myself as well, mate, give us a bit of what's relevant for your story and leads us to be sitting here today having this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Yeah, it's fascinating. I um I've often shied away from the Rags to Riches type story, which seems to get a lot of traction in some cultures. Um you know, given resilience and adversity are uh topics uh dear to you, and we've all experienced them, and I I feel, you know, on the hero's journey, the dark night of the soul, we've all had our adversity. And, you know, just to put a simple timeline through it, I think for me the the milestones were, you know, essentially when my parents separated, you know, I was seven, didn't have a strong r male role model in my life. And then becoming a father and a husband very early, I had to cultivate a lot of tools about what is it to be a man, what is it to be a husband, what is it to be a father, and to really lean into my hero's journey. And not that I was necessarily conscious of it all the time. And that's been my thread, really. It's that constant inquiry into, you know, I have four children, ten grandchildren, and that constant leaning in, you know, through the layers of the hero's journey, you know, from my first career to now, you know, coaching men globally in leadership roles. And so, yeah, I think that's the common thread. It's that leaning in growth mindset, finding good mentors, finding good teachers, you know, and you know, my wife's amazing. She's called me forth all the way. You know, we're 47 years together this year, you know, so it's been quite a journey. I've had to do a fair bit of growing up.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

I I think what jumps out at me, Bodhi, is that um, yeah, in terms of the the fatherhood role, so many times in my own life, I and I guess this is true for quite a lot of people as well. We go to default behaviors, um, even if we're not conscious of them. So I'm I'm I'm I'm curious around that and that how challenging that must have been given that, yeah, if you didn't have those role models, or that role model, some some of that work and the the challenge you found with that.

Fatherhood, Role Models, And Presence

SPEAKER_00 5:08

It's fascinating. Again, you know, the studies around you know, different siblings will have a totally different experience of of their childhood, you know, the filters and the the memory. I think in a lot of ways I was the youngest of three. I have an older brother and an older sister. In some ways, my father not being there probably created more space for me to explore this. I think, you know, my father is still alive, you know, we have a relationship. Yeah, I think we would have clashed a lot. There was a lot of a lot of work I've had to do on that relationship with my father. And so, as you know, as children, we don't have the relativity, yeah. We're just experiencing life. So not having a father, um, you know, having a couple of uncles in my life who were supportive, I I feel it gave me a lot of space to explore this. You had an incredibly powerful, strong mother, you know, hardworking ethic. And the the opportunity for any of the fathers listening, uh any of the parents listening, as we know, is that children will do what you do, not what you say. And one of the fundamental teachings to true freedom is embodied presence. The biggest gift we can give our children, the biggest gift we can give our beloved is presence. And if you haven't mastered your attention, the biggest asset we have as men is our attention. Where your attention goes, energy flows. And if you haven't mastered your attention, then whatever you're seeking, whatever you're searching for, you're not going to experience true freedom. And so coming back to your question, as parents and role models, presence is the key, the relational field that we create. The fact I didn't have it uh probably made me search even more.

Mastering Attention And Embodied Presence

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Where was your attention at that point and what yeah, and how did it shift to a more inward-looking?

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, yeah. It was uh, you know, so the classic uh basically mum, you know, working three jobs, put put me to a private school and I did reasonably well and said to mum, what will I do? She said, Go and be a lawyer. And so had no idea what I was stepping into, yet, you know, did the right thing and yeah, became a commercial lawyer. Uh Amala and I, my wife met at university, she was a teacher, so you know, we were living that busy life. Underneath that, though, Aaron, and I think even as a young man, you know, go going to a Catholic school, to an all-boys school originally, there was a really inquiry, you know, on in the search for the holy grail, the mythology, we're closest to the grail at 16 and 45. And often young men at 16 have the existential crisis, you know, the meaning, what's it all about, those sorts of things. And I think for me, those reflections, you know, there was at some level a connection to something bigger. And so the presence, I guess, was cultivated through the inquiry as to meaning, purpose, what is this all about? And it was an undercurrent because obviously becoming a lawyer, then we had children in our 20s, busy providing, we didn't have any family support. So it was that start from scratch, let's go. And I think that undercurrent, and a maler as well, you know, she she also had that undercurrent of some level of personal and spiritual inquiry.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yeah, and I guess that that's quite an an important supportive factor there to have somebody walking by your side in in your journey as you as you explore that and learn together and grow together.

Polarity Explained: Masculine And Feminine

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Yeah, yeah, she's called me forth. I mean, you know, when I work with couples, you know, I often start working with male leaders and then work in their relationships. You know, essentially the feminine has the opportunity to call the masculine forth. Yeah, and most men, because most of the men I work with, again, wherever we're being taught this, Aaron, you know, one of the pillars to relationship freedom is understanding the polarity of the masculine and feminine, this energy, this current that all traditional cultures know about, all traditional cultures taught, but I certainly wasn't taught it as a young man, you know, and it's so pivotable, you know, particularly to long-term relationship.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

So if you were to encapture that, and I know I'm probably asking some big questions and challenging ones to try and squeeze in here, but if you were to give somebody a summary of that, that how the feminine calls the masculine forward and it the importance of those two energies for somebody that's not heard it or skeptical, how what might you offer them today, Bodie?

Real-Life Polarity Examples With Grandkids

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah, I mean, if we if we think about polarity, so all traditional cultures knew that in the universe, yet Mother Earth, and in us, there is this polarity, these two different currents, the the opposite, the magnetic currents. Yeah, and you know, essentially they decided to label it. Could have called it anything. Yeah, the yin and yang, shakti shiva, masculine feminine, ping and pong, whatever you want to call it. Yep. Now the essential driver of the feminine energy in the universe, in us, and it's not gender-based, yeah. Although most men are more in their masculine, most women are more in their feminine. Obviously, there's a lot of variation to that. The essential driver of the feminine energy is flow. So the feminine energy in nature is everything that moves. Yep, it's the ocean, it can be calm, it can be wild, it can be cool. Yep. And the essential driver of the masculine current is presence. It's the mountain and the ocean, it's the river, is the feminine and the river banks. Now, when people start to understand this and realize that most people are more in one or the other, and obviously we have access to both, people get a little bit confused because feminine traits are different to feminine energy. Masculine traits are different to masculine energy. And so, for the listeners, if you accept the concept that in nature there's this polarity, and it's been labelled masculine and feminine, then when you understand that's running through us, because we're a part of nature, we're a part of the universe, you start to realize ah, if I want to maintain polarity in my relationship, if I want to keep a juicy relationship for 47 years, yeah, particularly I'm more in my masculine, Amala's more in a feminine, I gotta, I gotta work on this. I gotta understand how do I keep the polarity, how do I keep my frequency grounded in my masculine and still nurturing my grandchildren, you know, have seven granddaughters, you know? It's so beautiful. I can access my feminine traits, but I'm still in my masculine energy.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Does that make some sense? It does. And what I do is I'd help myself understand that, maybe others as well, and peel that back. And could you give us a real example then of yeah, how you stay grounded in masculine when when you're interacting with your with your seven granddaughters? What is that? What might that look if we were to see? I know there's a lot of inward work here, but what might we see from the outside to be able to grasp that?

Embodied Presence In Leadership And Parenting

SPEAKER_00 12:54

Yeah. Well, if you ever walked into a room, you know, maybe a boardroom, or certainly in your in your career, and there was somebody who just seemed really present. Yeah, 100%, yeah. Yeah, and you're just drawn to them, they don't have to say a lot. Yeah. That's presence. Yeah. And again, masculine and feminine. So with the masculine, one of the foundational teachings I teach is embodied presence. What all traditional cultures knew is that there's a vertical line of energy that runs from our crown through the midline of our body into the ground. Yeah, and that's the vertical core or the harak line or the shishumni. Yeah. And essentially, if you ground that, if you do your practices, so meditation and mindfulness are fantastic opening doors to getting in your body. Yet any amplified teaching, leadership, parenting is when you have embodied presence. Yeah. And the key is the vertical. So when I'm present and I do my daily practice with the vertical, yeah, and I'm teaching my seven-year-old granddaughter how to surf, I know she's experiencing it differently than my ten-year-old grandson. Yeah, and so there's there's many tangents on this. So what would be demonstrated is the way that I connect with her, the way I communicate with her, the way I nurture her, is much more me leaning into my feminine traits. Yeah, because the feminine the feminine is uplifted by appreciation. Yeah, the masculine is up limited, uplifted by feedback. Yeah. My granddaughter doesn't want feedback from me. She's like, I don't need feedback, Papa.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

But if I appreciate her, if I acknowledge when she you know, excels in something, she's gonna want to do more of it. Yeah, that's a very feminine trait. It's not good or bad, yeah. Whereas my grandson, he wants it straight. Okay, Papa, tell me what I'm doing wrong. You know? And and he'll take that and grow. You know yourself, you know, your background in sport. This is where I see in sport it gets quite confusing because in sport, you know, and again in business, I see this all the time because so many women in business haven't been taught how to stay in my feminine energy and access masculine traits. We can all access linear thinking, spreadsheets, strategy, but we don't have to become more masculine to access them.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Yeah, yeah, got it. There's there's a lot coming up, but then it's interesting as you speak about as you speak about kids, I can hear mine coming down now, and it's that very well. There's a lot of sound going on in the background, which is brilliant stuff. Yeah, beautiful. But yeah, I think something came to me as you're speaking there, and and I guess yeah, what I'm hearing, whilst I hear those examples of how how you're encouraging your grandkids in different ways to to surf in terms of their traits, is yeah, also being able to my for myself then, especially when dealing with my kids, or even maybe clients or challenging situations, is to stay grounded or vertical for me would would be hearing all the noise and the story and potential conflict out there, but just being able to catch it and come back and take a breath to respond rather than react.

The Two Leader Archetypes Bodhi Coaches

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Um yeah, yeah, yeah. Embodied presence is simultaneous attuned awareness. Yeah. And as leaders and as um uh parents, so in leadership, there's self-leadership, there's relational leadership, and there's systemic leadership. And embodied presence is how can I simultaneously attune to what's needed in the moment. Yet it has to start with self-leadership, to your point. You have to be in your body, you have to be present with yourself, you have to be grounded, you have to be calm, you have to have to have your energetic field aligned, you know, this is the daily practice. And then in relationship, whether it's with my granddaughter, whether it's in a leadership role, yeah. The studies are clear that it doesn't matter what leader you have, leadership style you have, it doesn't matter what parenting style you have, it doesn't matter what modality you've been to for therapy or counseling, the power of the interaction is the relational field. Yeah. Traditional cultures knew that everything is frequency and vibration. Yeah. Everything is connected, you know. We talk about energy. And so when I'm with a leadership team or one-on-one in a leadership role, it's the presence and relational field I create with the other that lets their nervous system settle, lets them get present. In music, you know, we talk about entrainment, where, you know, if you've ever done a drum circle, someone starts playing the drum, and then before you know it, 10 people are all entrained to the same rhythm. That's happening in every interaction. When you meet your children after this podcast, your presence is creating the relational field where they feel safe, they feel seen, they feel heard. Yeah, as much as your parenting style is important, that's the foundation.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

So if we take it back a little bit towards your or guide this towards your work and working with with leaders, Burley, what's some of the common challenges that that that you see um with leaders and and maybe you've experienced your yourself as well in your own journey?

Success Versus Freedom For High Achievers

Presence, Purpose, And Passion Reframed

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Yeah, I I I think there's many levels. I I I guess there's two typical types of leaders I work with, um, particularly male leaders. So some are extreme high achievers. Yeah. They, whether it's in whether athletes, whether it's in business, you know, they've they've they've really created extreme wealth or extreme uh accomplishments. And then the other uh typical client I often say is uh early forties to mid-50s, married mortgage business kids. They're right in the thick of the hero's journey. And if I talk to that demographic first, one of the the biggest challenges for men in that demographic is and again, these guys aren't going to go to Burning Man, they're not gonna go to Glastonbury and Fire Twirl. You know, essentially they're good guys, you know, they're builders or lawyers or, you know, and they're family men, they're householders in the Hindu culture. And often what happens is that they've given so much this role of being the provider, the pressure of being the provider, the weight on their shoulders, wanting to do the right thing, you know, repressing a lot of their own emotions, repressing a lot of their own desires, that they get to the point, particularly, you know, 45, you know, the midlife crisis is actually when you're close to the holy grail. And one of the questions they ask is they ask themselves, is is this it? Yeah, is there is there is there anything else? And it's almost a quiet whisper. You know, again, as you know, change comes from inspiration or desperation. Yeah, and often people create and experience desperate divorce and illness, you know, again, it and how many times, you know, your your own journey, how many times does that desperation become the catalyst for true change? Yet for me, when I walk into the boardroom, my intention is to inspire a lot of these male leaders to go, there is more, there is another way. You don't have to leave your job, your business, your family. You just haven't been given the tools. With the high achievers, it's interesting. So we talk a lot about, you know, I used to think that success was freedom, now I know that freedom is success. And what happens is, again, culturally we've been sold the story that if I go hard and go fast and achieve, the you know, I've worked with Olympic athletes who said the day after they got the gold medal, they've never felt more depressed. You know, uh billionaires, you know, unicorn developers, those sorts of things. So for them, often what happens is that they've climbed the mountain of success, however defined by them, and it's empty. Yeah, and as you know, again, and a lot of your guests. Your clients, it's like their whole sense of purpose, the whole sense of identity, the whole sense of meaning. Yeah, and often to get there, they've had to sacrifice a lot of relationships. You know, I'm working with a very successful musician at the moment, and the primary goal is how does he tour the world and have a huge impact and keep his beautiful marriage and family together? You know, like it's tricky because again, he's under pressure. He lives in LA, he's under pressure all the time to be performing for his fans, to be performing for his manager, and it's like back at home, it's like you know, we're constantly working on how to create presence and support for the family unit. So it's a it's a different flavor, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Yeah, 100%. 100%. You've alluded to this a couple of times now, now Beatty, that the the holy grail. Um yeah, could you help paint a picture of that? And if I'm going to answer that question for myself, would I be right in saying then that that is discovering the truth of yeah, our own purpose, what why we're here, what's it for?

The Hero’s Journey And The Holy Grail Within

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Part of it, definitely. We're talking about presence, purpose, and passion. Yeah, so presence again, the embodied presence, purpose. Purpose is a frequency and vibration. Yeah, I did a I did a workshop on it yesterday, actually. People get confused with purpose, they think it's something outside of them, they think it's a thing. Yeah, living a purpose-led life, when you realize everything is frequency and vibration, yeah, coming back to that vertical core and realize that it's not about doing what brings you joy, it's about bringing joy to what you do. And it's such a huge shift. Yeah. You know, I'm working with senior leaders who, if they can cultivate more joy and passion for their role, everything changes. And one of the top three questions I get with most of my clients is around purpose. You know, what am I going to do when I grow up? Yeah, and again, because we think it's outside of us, the form of purpose, what it looks like, will reveal itself. There's purpose within purpose within purpose. Think about yourself. You're on purpose. You'd probably didn't think you'd be running a podcast for several seasons talking to people around the world. Yeah. The form reveals itself, the opportunities reveal themselves, the introductions reveal themselves. And again, that's what I say to my clients get in your body, get present, fully show up. The thing with life, life isn't about change, life is about how you participate with change. How am I meeting each moment? And there's I've I've gone on a bit of a tangent, hopefully it's useful. There's two trains that leave your house every day, Aaron. Yeah. One is called the resistance train, the other is called the flow train. And you get to choose. You wake up, kick your toe on the end of the bed, yep, kids are crying, and you're just resisting, and you're resisting, you're resisting, and you go into fear, you go into your you know, self-critic, you start judging the world, yep. Or you get up, do your practice, and get in the flow. So if you fully show up with an open heart, and again, the studies around the heart, heart math, the electromagnetic field of the heart, yeah, and lean into life, the opportunities, the contacts are incredible. But it's from the frequency that you bring. And then on the hero's journey, there's purpose within purpose within purpose. So the primary purpose for yourself, for myself, for a lot of my clients, yeah, is as householders is to provide for our family. Yeah, we've made the commitment. Yeah, like that's that's the primary. And again, in the Hindu philosophy, there were different chapters of your life. Um, I'm moving more into eldership now, it's a different flavor. I didn't answer your holy grail question, but how did that did that make sense?

Self-Love, The Inner Critic, And Flow

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Yeah, I like I said to you right at the beginning, I always get something from this. And and and my job here is to stay present. My mind has gone batshit, you know, with all these things it wants to follow and ask about and get curious about. Um yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

If if I if I come back to the holy grail for the listeners, so that in all cultures, there's the great work of Joseph Campbell, many of the listeners would have heard the power of myth. Um, he was an anthropologist, a psychologist who traveled the world studying all different cultures from Papua New Guinea to you know India to China, and what he realized is that they all had these different mythological stories. One is called the hero's journey, the other is the heroine's journey. They're slightly different. And the hero's journey is a collective consciousness that's informing all of us, again, through the through the description of myth. There are many stories. The the Celtics have their story, the French have their story, and the journey for the masculine is to search for the holy grail. Now, in a typical uh journey, what happens is men, particularly in their twenties, they go looking for the holy grail. Yep, they go traveling, they go to India, they go surfing, they you know, go partying, they're you know, they're searching, and then there's a point in the man's life where he wakes up and realizes that the holy grail was on the bedside table all along. The holy grail is within me. This is the inner purpose. You've got to do the inner work, the inner inquiry, the wake-up, the clean up, the grow up, the show up, and the open up. Yeah, you've got to do that inquiry. And when you do that, again, all traditional cultures, all metaphysical studies show that. So you think about your children, Aaron. So when your oldest child was born, yeah, what did you experience? What did you see? What did you feel?

Daily Practice: Stillness And Reflection

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Great question. I think the the first thing was um a wave of relief because everything was going fine, and then suddenly that the room was filled with 20 people because something went started to go wrong, and so I broke. One of one of the the few times I remember as an adult properly breaking down and just letting it go, crying my eyes out. So it was relief that he made it, uh, and and that my wife did too. Um followed by a sense of joy and uh and love. Yeah, but I think that my my initial one was which is probably if I if I just pause on that, it's probably yeah, it's probably fear. It was fear, I think. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah, exactly. When you went to the joy and love, did you just see a beautiful, innocent, loving being?

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Oh yeah, yeah. I I I I loved that boy before he was even here. But yeah, that that that reaffirmed it, and I can remember the first time actually holding him um on my own after his mum was taken away and and just looking down and oh wow, yeah, that that that is burnt into my memory. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

And that's the essence of every human being. You didn't look at him and go, excuse the language, you know, he's fucked up, he needs some coaching, he's got some shit to do. You will have, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I know his father. Um but the piece is that when you see that and feel that yeah, with your beautiful son, yeah, and realize that it's in you, we just forget. Yeah, yeah. You know, the inner critic, the not good enough, the all of the you know, small t, big t trauma we've experienced, all of that, the personality, we we get caught up, our whole identity gets caught up, whole experience gets caught up in all of these different layers. Yeah, and deep within that is the essence that you are love.

Journaling And The Science Of Learning

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yeah, yeah. That's the holy grail. I I and and what comes to me to say is as I reflect on that for myself, as that lands is it's that yeah, I was gonna say unfortunately, but that's not true. That I have to remind myself of that on a daily basis for myself, otherwise, I find it more of a challenge to hold that for others, even if I do love them dearly. Um, yeah, and and unfortunately, and yeah, I will say this. Unfortunately, I would love a quick hack and I'd be happy to pay a couple of thousand bucks for it rather than sit in silence or go inward or look at the discomfort. Um, and yeah, I'm I'm I'm human and and and I I recognise that myself, and I know that's true for a lot of people that I've worked with, and I'm I'm it may be for you as as well. There's it's it's the out there, it's the thing rather than the yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

Well, the reframe. So so you've tasted that, and for most people, it's how do I stabilize and embody that, as you say, it's like you've got to remind yourself all the time. And again, as you know, the journey is the destination, you know. And so the the practices I teach is absolutely grounded in that. And if if if you don't unconditionally love yourself most of the time, then there's there's nothing to give others. You know, you you you you give, but you give from a place of rescue, you give from a place of people pleasing, you give from a place of depletion, you know. And I see this a lot, particularly with female leaders, they're so depleted. Yeah, because again they haven't been able to embody and ground that self-love and contain it.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

If we just look at that for a second, uh the the self-love, the capacity to love love ourselves for who we are, how how do we start to guide people towards towards that embodied thing?

Freedom From, Freedom Is, Freedom Now

Beyond Binary: Business And Inner Work

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Yeah. Well the you know, again, if you if one of the fundamental questions in most spiritual traditions is who am I? Yeah, and if you just any of the listeners, you just ask yourself that question every day for a month. Yeah. Because what you realise when you start to unpeel that is I'm not my job. I'm not my identity. Yeah. And some of the fundamental distinctions, Aaron, is to know that thoughts aren't real. They're just constructs. We have 60,000 thoughts a day, and most of them are negative. Yep. So if you uh haven't unwound the busy mind, yeah, it's a little bit like if you wanna if you want to slow a fast train, you don't jump in front of it. You just gotta gently slow it. So to to answer your question, the first is you've got to slow your thoughts, that inner critic. The second to realise is feelings aren't facts. Yeah, emotions are just energy. There's no good or bad emotion. It's part of the human experience. It's absolutely okay to feel angry, it's not useful to dump it on somebody else. Yeah. And then when you slow the mind, get more in your body, notice the emotions without reacting, and realize that they're giving you information. And then ultimately, what you do is you connect not only with from the head to the heart, which is a big journey for men, but you also then connect with your intuition, as you know, you use this, yeah. And that becomes such a powerful guide for most people, either the heart wisdom or the gut wisdom. And and whenever you get into resistance, you're coming from the not good enough, coming from fear. Yeah, and so what what I teach is if you want to experience more self-love, get present. And when you're present, notice where you're resisting life. Notice where you're judging, notice where you're getting frustrated, notice where you're getting triggered, notice when you're beating yourself up, yeah. And the more present you are, the quicker you can go, notice where you're flowing. Yeah, flow is just presence in action. You know, working with athletes, I've worked with a lot of lead athletes who find flow in their sport, but they don't know how to bring it into their house. And when you do, you realize flow is a natural state we can live in. And that's love, that's joy. The three fundamental states of being are love, joy, and peace. Yeah, who am I being while I'm doing? As you know, the be do have model, yet it's coming back to the frequency and vibration of love, joy, and peace. The fastest way to experience love is to bring joy and flow. And that just cultivates, it's just practice. All traditional cultures, you have to have a daily practice to withdraw your senses. Yeah, they're in overload, they're overstimulate.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Yeah, I get and I guess especially with with certain um clients that that that you work with in yeah, as well as modern day life as as well as so many other factors as well, it just it it lends to being overstimulated and disconnected. So I'm I'm I'm what I'm hearing there then, Buddy, is yeah, the the ability to have a daily practice and to practice presence as well as yeah, in our day-to-day life, catch what's flowing where our attention is going. Is is yeah, is there something then for people that are curious and things like that? That sounds interesting. That that I I recognise there's something in that, but that uh at the beginning of their journey in terms of yeah, being with presence or or meditation, is there is there a practice that you find works well for, and I know it's gonna be different for things for different people, but as as a general for people to to start to play with, to experiment with before the the fastest way, and and when I talk about a daily practice, the two things.

Closing Reflections And Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 36:20

Firstly, it can literally be 10 minutes a day. So any of the listeners who are busy, don't think it's gotta be, you know, I've got to have an hour and I've got to have an ashram and I've got to sit cross-legged, and because life is the workshop. Yeah, you can go and do all the retreats, peak experiences, ayahuasca, you know, therapy, healing, but life is the workshop, guys. Yeah, if you're not treating life as a workshop, how am I participating with change? Yeah. And so the fastest way, yeah, to train the mind is to train the body. And the simple way to train the body is to sit still. It's like training a dog. Yeah. So any of the listeners I know all of you have five minutes. Yeah, and I know for the working parents, single parents, that's tricky. Yet the reality is if you've got five minutes, find somewhere where you can sit still. No devices, no distractions, and your thinking brain will kick and scream. Yeah. I get people saying, I tried meditation three times, it doesn't work for me. It will not come easy. We've got so much invested in our limited egoic mind, our thinking mind. So, any of the listeners, just five minutes, train your body, just sit like a dog. Sit. No, don't get up. No, it's not that urgent. Yep. What happens is that starts to slow the train down, and then you start to notice all of that inner critic. Yep, all of those 60,000 thoughts. And it gets a bit scary. But then you break through that, and you start to realize I'm not my thoughts. Voluntary and involuntary thoughts will come and they can go. And that's why presence is so powerful, because it's about where's how do I come back into my body? Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Is that a simple Yeah, yes, it does, and and I and I love it, and it resonates for me. And what I one of the things I try and do here is with these discussions, it's really easy for me to get excited and buy into it because I I I openly accept what you're speaking. And one of my I feel drawn to is to make that real with for people that aren't quite there yet, um, you know, and trying to break it down. And even for my younger self, which and and yeah, when my mind gets busy, or I I or I let my practices go for a few days, yeah, coming back seems such a challenge, and and often for me it's what's the one smallest step I can take. So, yes, to make it really real for for people that aren't quite there as well yet, or are quite skeptical, skeptical of hopefully that's not a main word, um, of of these sorts of things, because like you say, it's so so far removed from things that we're taught or not taught.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

Yeah, and you fortunately, you know, the science has caught up with you know so much of the eastern eastern tradition. So there's a lot of evidence for anyone who who wants the evidence. Um the um the other thing, which again is a simple tool and is you know uh journaling, as you know. It's the again, pen and paper. The neuroscience is clear what goes on when you stop and journal. And there are different contexts for journaling. So you can do a reflection journal, you can do uh acknowledgement journal, you can do a gratitude journal. Like there are different uh different days you can do different things. They did some studies on leaders, and they got um, I think it was 30 senior leaders to map their behavior for a month. And what they found is the most effective leaders out of that group all had a daily reflective practice. If you're not reflecting each day, beginning of the day, end of the day, catching your breath, getting quiet, with a journal or not, and going, How did I show up today? Or how do I want to show up today? And the neuroscience is clear, the way we learn, yeah, first is the education, second is the application, yeah, and third is the integration, the embodiment, but the superpower that joins them all is reflection. And reflection can simply a cup, a cup of tea in the garden, again with no distractions, just really reflecting on how did I show up, or how do I want to show up? Very simple tool, very powerful. Yeah, again, not simple for the busy mind.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's so much beauty and power in the simplicity, and as humans we love to, at least in my case, overcomplicate things sometimes. Um the limited ego, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

The limited ego doesn't want your mind to stop, doesn't want to, it doesn't want to stop. So yeah, it'll complicate it, it'll have every reason, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Going back to the beginning of the conversation, Bodhi and Freedom. Um yeah, do you want to talk a little bit more uh about that then and how you there's a phrase which I'm I'm I'm not gonna quote because I can't quote it right, but it's it's finding it's coming from that place rather than seeking it as a destination, is is is what I picked up on. Um yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Um we'll put in the show notes I did a great podcast with uh a mutual friend, so um Richard Stokes in Ibiza, and um we unpacked uh true freedom, and what we talked about was freedom from, freedom is, and freedom now. So freedom from suffering. Yeah, if you look at a lot of the Eastern traditions, you know, the the truth is that pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. Yeah, and so the freedom from a lot of people, again, a lot of men think freedom is making money, being able to travel the world, and you know, that's outer freedom at some level, but if you haven't got the inner freedom, you're not going to find true freedom. So freedom from suffering, where's where am I attached? Where am I holding on to life? Yeah, again, the Buddhists talk a lot about attachment, yeah, is where yeah, we get tripped up. Freedom is our natural state, again, that essence, that beautiful son of yours. Yeah. At the deepest level, if you look at the work of Mandela, you look at the work of some of the people who've been incarcerated, what they say is they could not get me. Yeah. Freedom is our natural state, the essence of who we are. And so when you release attachment, when you release the suffering, when you release the triggers and the pains, and you realize that freedom is our natural state, the third part is freedom now. Where's my attention? Am I present? Am I in my body? Am I in flow? Yeah. And if you if you can cultivate those, and again it's easier than it sounds, it's a journey. Yet if you can cultivate those, what you start to realize, if I'm present and know that I am at the deepest level free, doesn't mean I don't have challenges, mortgage to pay, those sorts of things. Yeah, all I've got to do, yeah, is really notice where I'm resisting life. Yeah, through my thoughts, through my fears, through my attachment, through my prejudices, through my judgments, and get into flow. Yeah, and flow is a Again, working with athletes, you know, the studies around flow states, which are very masculine-oriented, by the way. Flow flow for the feminine is different. But we can live in flow predominantly.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

It reminds me of the distinction between struggle versus suffering. Um, yeah, human friend of mine talks about this about human as designed for struggle, it's not necessarily a negative thing, um, where's where suffering is is optional. Yeah. Exactly, exactly. That's it. Yeah. Um, yeah, love it, love it. Um, Bodhi, I feel compelled to ask, is there something that you would love to talk about or a question that I've not asked that that that you would like to to put into today's episode?

SPEAKER_00 44:46

I just feel for the listeners that you know at some level the the way the mind works is that we see the world as binary. Yeah. Instead, you know, it's the or instead of the and. And what I want to support the listeners, pr probably most of your listeners, is it is about building your business, it is about running a team, it is about having a family, it is about having a mortgage, and you can also do the inner work. Yeah. And if people can get that and go, all I've got to do is just, you know, nudge the inner work. Yeah, because some people think, Oh, I've got to leave my job or I've got to leave my business or I've got to leave my family to suddenly go and find freedom or find peace. It's like that's a limited view. So for any of the listeners, wherever you are, often we've been sold the story that success equals freedom, equals peace, equals happiness. Yeah, and it's the realization that is success and happiness. Success and freedom. So uh yeah, just just anchor that point for people who are seeing things as black or white instead of black and white. Love it, love it, brilliant.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Yeah. Bodhi, thank you very much for today's conversation. I've thoroughly enjoyed it. I've got more notes than I usually have. Um yeah, as as I listened to a lot of my podcasts, but again, um, this one I definitely will be drawn back to. Um yeah, thank you for your time, thank you for your presence, thank you for your wisdom, thank you for your love, thank you for your guidance that you give so many others, um, and and how you shop. It's been a pleasure to speak to you today.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

Yeah, thanks so much, Aaron, and thank you, listeners. Again, you know, we're at some level all seeking the same thing. Yeah, it's just there's many roads there, and hopefully I've added a few tools to the toolkit for everybody. 100%. Cheers, buddy. Thank you, cheers.